Welcome to the Mockingbird bar & lounge. What'll you be having this evening?

Happy hour is on Mondays and Thursdays from 5 PM to 7 PM.

Note: an the bar is open alla the time, dipshit. -AugustBarkeeper

---
Magic anon: Human for a week

Yeah. The title is August Barkeeper. Call me Augustus if you want. I work at a bar, see a lot of crazy shit, mess with a lot of alcohol all day. If you get drunk off of your ass and tell me your life story, please don't visit my apartment at three am to tell me not to tell anyone. I won't tell anyone, and I don't need drunks visiting my apartment. Thank you, and please do give me a tip if you drop by.

19th July 2012

Post with 1 note

[i cried can i get a prize please

the prizes should be for the ones who do cry

someone hold me]

Tagged: ooci'm okay now though ehe

19th July 2012

Post reblogged from Fuck It All An' Fuckin' No Regrets with 15 notes

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

augustbarkeeper:

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

You watch the dog come in, and nearly snarl at it. But that wouldn’t be nice. It hadn’t done anything to you. You ready to turn and leave when he finally starts speaking. You catch his eye, and every negative feeling you have towards him comes bubbling up. You bite your tongue, your hand clenching tight around your wrench. You wouldn’t admit it, but you were starting to tear up a bit. Not from love, or anything positive, but from the rage that you were holding back. 

“I thought that’s what you were gonna do in th’ firs’ place. I thought bein’ with you would be better than stickin’ aroun’ th’ man who likes t’ beat an’ stab an’ insult me. Y’know what? I prefer that. He hurts me, yeah, an’ I’ve got lastin’ damage, but at least I expected that from ‘im. From you…”

You choke up and a few tears escape.

“I thought you were gonna be there for me like you ‘ad been. I thought you were gonna by my man. Y’… Pumpkin’s been aroun’ me more than you ‘ave. I trusted you, Augustus. I shouldn’ have t’ feel like I gotta beg you t’ be aroun’ me…”

You can’t take it anymore. You drop your weapon and slump to the ground, covering your face before sobbing quietly. It hurts. Everything hurts and really, you just want to die. Or get beat up by Slick. Anything would be better than this.

You stay still and listen carefully as she spells it all out for you. You can’t describe what you feel anymore, really, so you try to block out a few things. You offer a sad smile when she finishes.

“…That’s right, get all of that out of your system. I know. I know.” You mumble.

“Wish I could just hug you and make it all go away, but I’ve lost the privilege, huh? Haha, I deserve everything I get. ‘M sorry. I messed up big time. Don’t forgive me, though. I don’t deserve that.” You frown. “I’m sorry. You probably don’t like hearing my voice right now… But would you like anything? A blanket? I’d like to curl up under a blanket. I know, my stuff would be bad… but I think it could be good to just curl up for a while, not think about anything at all. Not go anywhere, not worry about anything for a while. Take a break.” You say softly. You sound as non-threatening as you can. You hope that she’s too tuckered out to lash out at you again. 

You move your hands to uncover your mouth. “I *hic* never said you couldn’ hug me… Never said y’ lost any *hic* privileges either…” The best thing he could actually do right now would be to hold you close and comfort you. But there would be no point in you saying it. 

You shake your head. “Do what y’ wan’… I’ll be.. fuck *hic* I don’ know…” You didn’t want to think. You’d rather someone think and move for you, and you hoped that Augustus would pick up on that. For a brief moment, you entertain the fantasy that he’d pick you up and take you to his bed for cuddles and sweet things, but you know that’s probably not going to happen. You fucked up. You let yourself be weak. A grown woman, crying like a child. You hate yourself.

You blink, and tilt your head to the side. Usually all of those things that she said would mean that she never wanted to see you again. She never did say you couldn’t though, did she? Thoughts start running through your mind, and you can’t help but smile. You feel a bit like you again, all of the sudden. 

You inch closer to her, and lean your head closer to hers. “It looks like we’re both sad- over each other, huh? Would you like to be sad over each other together?” What a silly thing for you to say, haha. “If you’re really alright with me doing what I want…” You decide just then to do something risky. You wrap your arms around her, and pick her up. “We could go in my room and hide under some blankets, cry and be pitiful together… I have some ice-cream, too. I hear that ice cream is good comfort food. Any interest?” You question, in that soft voice you used before.

Source: augustbarkeeper

19th July 2012

Post reblogged from Fuck It All An' Fuckin' No Regrets with 15 notes

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

augustbarkeeper:

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

pumpkinroyalguard:

augustbarkeeper:

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

You cross your arms and listen to him rant, not bothering to warn him about Pumpkin. It’s actually quite difficult to keep from laughing. 

“Look, Augustus, Pumpkin ain’ evil, or a prick, an’ I’m sure he wouldn’ attack no one without a good reason. Pretty sure he had a good reason, if he’d care t’ share it.”

When Pumpkin scares him though, you double over in laughter. At least until he mentions the face petting. That sends a bit of jealousy through you, and you straighten back up.

“Pet ‘is face, huh? An’ you’re a wimp? An’ I thought you’d be able t’ handle it. Hell I could handle a fight with bunny boy over here.”

You try to keep smirking like the asshole you are, but damn you’re angry. Probably a bit more than you should be. You start twirling your knife-wrench again. Doing something with your hands helps, even if it’s with a weapon.

You groan. “I’m pretty sure he’s evil. Just a little bit evil. Yes, please do tell us why you went on a crazy rampage.” 

You’re waiting for some sort of answer, and then he kICKS YOU ON YOUR ASS. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY. “Stop laughing at me…” You whine, rather unconvincingly.

She looked amused at your terror, but then she stood up, and a certain look crosses her face briefly. You frown. You know that look, you’ve seen it before.

“Because I, uh, regret hitting him? I was trying to say I was sorry, I guess. I’m not usually very violent. But I’m not a wimp- he’s a demon! You don’t fuck with demons and get away with it scott free! It isn’t my fault! He’s got like… super demon powers n’ stuff.” You say grumpily. Your eyes look over her knife-wrench thing for a moment, before looking away. You decide you don’t really want to know why she’s twirling that thing around. You seem to have gotten caught up with some dangerous people as of recently- but you love them, so you’re just going to stay quiet. Plus, you don’t stand a chance with either of them if you get suspicious. Eeeek.

You snort at the both of them. Drama, great. You feel pretty good, though. 

“I may or may not be actually evil. You never know.” You say casually. “He’s just stupid. He probably regretted hitting me only because he likes my face. He’s not actually sorry. Anyway, absolutely no need to get freaked out. I hate the guy.” 

You sigh. You probably got yourself into a bit too much trouble, but it was worth it. Maybe not. No, that was fun. 

“I just had some pent up anger, and I was also rather angry with this prick for neglecting you. And I’m not going to fight with you, or make any stupid comments. Anyway, it was a stupid move and I apologize for just doing this sort of thing, but he’ll be fine.”

It’s very tempting to spout off a bunch of things about how superior in power you are to the both of them. Very tempting, but before you forget, you’re actually smart. Anyone tries to start anything, you’re putting up a goddamn shield charm around yourself. Plus, you’re not really prepared right now. If you had been serious about any of this fighting… well, it wouldn’t be good. You mostly rely on magic, intelligence, and power- not direct fighting or strength. These two could beat you on that. But if you were using magic, you have the upper hand. 

You notice him look at your hand. So you are getting your point across. Good. You’d never say it out loud. You move away from Augustus, just a little bit. You’re not feeling too fond of him at the moment, and, well, you don’t really trust yourself not to give him a nice hard hit to the head. 

“Just likes your face?” You bite your tongue, resisting the nearly overwhelming urge to say “guess he doesn’t need mine”. “I ain’ freakin’ out. I can jus’ feel the blackrom. Can nearly smell it too. An’ he can neglect me all he wants, it ain’ any of our business.” It was actually starting to make you a bit sick. “No need t’ be sorry. You two can carry on, I’ll jus’ go.”

Your expression only gets more and more horrified with every word out of their mouths. You look to Pumpkin, with a blaming look, then to Agatha, with a pitiful look.

You didn’t realize how much you had… Why hadn’t she said anything? You hadn’t been in a serious relationship in who knows how long. This was the first time you had in a long time. Everything was catching you off guard right now, and you didn’t like it at all. Where was the confident Augustus who knew exactly what to do in these sorts of things?

Why do things always have to happen at the wrong times? 

Ah fuck. You don’t feel good at all. You feel sick. You want to go in your room, curl up, and sleep for a while. You’d like to cuddle your dog, Robin, too. Seemingly on cue, she trots out of your bedroom. You’re kind of suspicious to the fact of why she didn’t come and rescue you- you want to be rescued by a dog? Ahhh. You kneel down, and bury your face in her fur.  Pumpkin seemed to have wandered away from the danger-zone. 

“Wait. Don’t go?” You breath

“I’m so sorry. I’m rather pathetic right now. You have every right to leave me for this sort of stupid thing, but if you’d give me the chance to try to be better… I will put my all into making up for things. You have a right to hate me, to be angry, to do anything. But I want to love and cherish you. I’d like a chance to do that, if it’s alright with you. Take it into consideration?” You say quietly and as sincere as you can, allowing yourself to peek up to her again, eyes vaguely hopeful. She never said she was leaving you directly, but things weren’t going well. The reason of saying it in that way, was to make it known that  you were going for a fresh start and showing that you were serious. 

You watch the dog come in, and nearly snarl at it. But that wouldn’t be nice. It hadn’t done anything to you. You ready to turn and leave when he finally starts speaking. You catch his eye, and every negative feeling you have towards him comes bubbling up. You bite your tongue, your hand clenching tight around your wrench. You wouldn’t admit it, but you were starting to tear up a bit. Not from love, or anything positive, but from the rage that you were holding back. 

“I thought that’s what you were gonna do in th’ firs’ place. I thought bein’ with you would be better than stickin’ aroun’ th’ man who likes t’ beat an’ stab an’ insult me. Y’know what? I prefer that. He hurts me, yeah, an’ I’ve got lastin’ damage, but at least I expected that from ‘im. From you…”

You choke up and a few tears escape.

“I thought you were gonna be there for me like you ‘ad been. I thought you were gonna by my man. Y’… Pumpkin’s been aroun’ me more than you ‘ave. I trusted you, Augustus. I shouldn’ have t’ feel like I gotta beg you t’ be aroun’ me…”

You can’t take it anymore. You drop your weapon and slump to the ground, covering your face before sobbing quietly. It hurts. Everything hurts and really, you just want to die. Or get beat up by Slick. Anything would be better than this.

You stay still and listen carefully as she spells it all out for you. You can’t describe what you feel anymore, really, so you try to block out a few things. You offer a sad smile when she finishes.

"…That’s right, get all of that out of your system. I know. I know." You mumble.

"Wish I could just hug you and make it all go away, but I’ve lost the privilege, huh? Haha, I deserve everything I get. ‘M sorry. I messed up big time. Don’t forgive me, though. I don’t deserve that." You frown. "I’m sorry. You probably don’t like hearing my voice right now… But would you like anything? A blanket? I’d like to curl up under a blanket. I know, my stuff would be bad… but I think it could be good to just curl up for a while, not think about anything at all. Not go anywhere, not worry about anything for a while. Take a break." You say softly. You sound as non-threatening as you can. You hope that she’s too tuckered out to lash out at you again. 

Source: augustbarkeeper

19th July 2012

Post reblogged from Fuck It All An' Fuckin' No Regrets with 15 notes

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

pumpkinroyalguard:

augustbarkeeper:

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

You cross your arms and listen to him rant, not bothering to warn him about Pumpkin. It’s actually quite difficult to keep from laughing. 

“Look, Augustus, Pumpkin ain’ evil, or a prick, an’ I’m sure he wouldn’ attack no one without a good reason. Pretty sure he had a good reason, if he’d care t’ share it.”

When Pumpkin scares him though, you double over in laughter. At least until he mentions the face petting. That sends a bit of jealousy through you, and you straighten back up.

“Pet ‘is face, huh? An’ you’re a wimp? An’ I thought you’d be able t’ handle it. Hell I could handle a fight with bunny boy over here.”

You try to keep smirking like the asshole you are, but damn you’re angry. Probably a bit more than you should be. You start twirling your knife-wrench again. Doing something with your hands helps, even if it’s with a weapon.

You groan. “I’m pretty sure he’s evil. Just a little bit evil. Yes, please do tell us why you went on a crazy rampage.” 

You’re waiting for some sort of answer, and then he kICKS YOU ON YOUR ASS. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY. “Stop laughing at me…” You whine, rather unconvincingly.

She looked amused at your terror, but then she stood up, and a certain look crosses her face briefly. You frown. You know that look, you’ve seen it before.

“Because I, uh, regret hitting him? I was trying to say I was sorry, I guess. I’m not usually very violent. But I’m not a wimp- he’s a demon! You don’t fuck with demons and get away with it scott free! It isn’t my fault! He’s got like… super demon powers n’ stuff.” You say grumpily. Your eyes look over her knife-wrench thing for a moment, before looking away. You decide you don’t really want to know why she’s twirling that thing around. You seem to have gotten caught up with some dangerous people as of recently- but you love them, so you’re just going to stay quiet. Plus, you don’t stand a chance with either of them if you get suspicious. Eeeek.

You snort at the both of them. Drama, great. You feel pretty good, though. 

“I may or may not be actually evil. You never know.” You say casually. “He’s just stupid. He probably regretted hitting me only because he likes my face. He’s not actually sorry. Anyway, absolutely no need to get freaked out. I hate the guy.” 

You sigh. You probably got yourself into a bit too much trouble, but it was worth it. Maybe not. No, that was fun. 

“I just had some pent up anger, and I was also rather angry with this prick for neglecting you. And I’m not going to fight with you, or make any stupid comments. Anyway, it was a stupid move and I apologize for just doing this sort of thing, but he’ll be fine.”

It’s very tempting to spout off a bunch of things about how superior in power you are to the both of them. Very tempting, but before you forget, you’re actually smart. Anyone tries to start anything, you’re putting up a goddamn shield charm around yourself. Plus, you’re not really prepared right now. If you had been serious about any of this fighting… well, it wouldn’t be good. You mostly rely on magic, intelligence, and power- not direct fighting or strength. These two could beat you on that. But if you were using magic, you have the upper hand. 

You notice him look at your hand. So you are getting your point across. Good. You’d never say it out loud. You move away from Augustus, just a little bit. You’re not feeling too fond of him at the moment, and, well, you don’t really trust yourself not to give him a nice hard hit to the head. 

“Just likes your face?” You bite your tongue, resisting the nearly overwhelming urge to say “guess he doesn’t need mine”. “I ain’ freakin’ out. I can jus’ feel the blackrom. Can nearly smell it too. An’ he can neglect me all he wants, it ain’ any of our business.” It was actually starting to make you a bit sick. “No need t’ be sorry. You two can carry on, I’ll jus’ go.”

Your expression only gets more and more horrified with every word out of their mouths. You look to Pumpkin, with a blaming look, then to Agatha, with a pitiful look.

You didn’t realize how much you had… Why hadn’t she said anything? You hadn’t been in a serious relationship in who knows how long. This was the first time you had in a long time. Everything was catching you off guard right now, and you didn’t like it at all. Where was the confident Augustus who knew exactly what to do in these sorts of things?

Why do things always have to happen at the wrong times? 

Ah fuck. You don’t feel good at all. You feel sick. You want to go in your room, curl up, and sleep for a while. You’d like to cuddle your dog, Robin, too. Seemingly on cue, she trots out of your bedroom. You’re kind of suspicious to the fact of why she didn’t come and rescue you- you want to be rescued by a dog? Ahhh. You kneel down, and bury your face in her fur.  Pumpkin seemed to have wandered away from the danger-zone. 

"Wait. Don’t go?" You breath

"I’m so sorry. I’m rather pathetic right now. You have every right to leave me for this sort of stupid thing, but if you’d give me the chance to try to be better… I will put my all into making up for things. You have a right to hate me, to be angry, to do anything. But I want to love and cherish you. I’d like a chance to do that, if it’s alright with you. Take it into consideration?" You say quietly and as sincere as you can, allowing yourself to peek up to her again, eyes vaguely hopeful. She never said she was leaving you directly, but things weren’t going well. The reason of saying it in that way, was to make it known that  you were going for a fresh start and showing that you were serious. 

Tagged: [AUGUSTUS I WANT TO PET YOU UGH... IM CRY][I need to make some silly drawings now][this is sads but augustus being pitiful and adorable and apologizing like this is cheering me up]

Source: augustbarkeeper

19th July 2012

Post reblogged from Fuck It All An' Fuckin' No Regrets with 15 notes

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

pumpkinroyalguard:

augustbarkeeper:

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

You had been wandering around town, deciding to do your own bit of “research” you guess. Actually, you were having fun playing Batman. Who wouldn’t if they had a job like yours? You just couldn’t be bothered to wait for Pumpkin or an actual job. Vigilantism was just too much fun. 

Twirling your knife-wrench around like the pro you were, you nearly dropped it when you heard a scream. It sounded like a little girl getting attacked. You run towards the source of the sound, grateful your hearing was more sensitive than the average human. As you got closer, you realized it was coming from Augustus’s place. What the hell was going on?

You hurry to the door and kick it down, your weapon raised, only to find that it was your boyfriend screaming. And Pumpkin was laughing his ass off on the ground.

“What th’ fuck did I miss? An’ why is Augustus screamin’ like a baby?”

You weren’t paying much mind to your own screeching, because you’re were so fucking freaked out! You were yelling at the top of your lungs at the guy, and he’s laughing at you! HE’S FUCKING LAUGHING AT YOU AND NOT LISTENING TO A SINGLE GODDAMN WORD YOU’RE SAYING THAT LITTLE SHIT—

Oh fuck. Oh fuck is that Aggie? Oh shit did she hear you two? You just keep getting more and more humiliated today, but really you don’t pay too much mind, you’re far too into your rage. So you turn to her.

“You know what this freak did? Doya’ know? No? Then I’ll tell ya, this guy shows up, insults me without any explanation or reason, and leaps on my tryin’ to CLAW my fuckin’ FACE off! An’ I managed to get him offa me with a pretty awesome kick, and I thought I got the upper hand an I was gonna teach him I wasn’t gonna back off or some shit like a wimpy little girl, and hE BIT ME. THE TINY FUCKING EVIL PRICK BIT ME!!” You screeched, huffing and puffing, and completely ignoring the part about you screaming like a baby. 

You grinned, ignoring the pain, and got up to wander over to your two…friends? You don’t know anymore. Augustus obviously wasn’t paying attention to you closely enough, so you snuck up behind him and kicked his ass. Literally, you kicked him on his ass. You also successfully scared the shit out him in the process, as he hadn’t been paying any mind to you in his ranting. You still had payback to give to this asshole. Of course, you started laughing again, a smug sharp toothed grin across your face. “Were you attracted by this guy’s shrieking? You know what he didn’t mention? He pinned me down, pulled my hair, punched me. And then after he did that, he pet my face. It was creepy.” You put mock fear on the last word. “But yeah, he’s a wimp. He only got hurt like, once, and that was when I bit him. Idiot.” You drawl, patting Augustus’s arm like you would a dog.

You cross your arms and listen to him rant, not bothering to warn him about Pumpkin. It’s actually quite difficult to keep from laughing. 

“Look, Augustus, Pumpkin ain’ evil, or a prick, an’ I’m sure he wouldn’ attack no one without a good reason. Pretty sure he had a good reason, if he’d care t’ share it.”

When Pumpkin scares him though, you double over in laughter. At least until he mentions the face petting. That sends a bit of jealousy through you, and you straighten back up.

“Pet ‘is face, huh? An’ you’re a wimp? An’ I thought you’d be able t’ handle it. Hell I could handle a fight with bunny boy over here.”

You try to keep smirking like the asshole you are, but damn you’re angry. Probably a bit more than you should be. You start twirling your knife-wrench again. Doing something with your hands helps, even if it’s with a weapon.

You groan. “I’m pretty sure he’s evil. Just a little bit evil. Yes, please do tell us why you went on a crazy rampage.” 

You’re waiting for some sort of answer, and then he kICKS YOU ON YOUR ASS. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY. “Stop laughing at me…” You whine, rather unconvincingly.

She looked amused at your terror, but then she stood up, and a certain look crosses her face briefly. You frown. You know that look, you’ve seen it before.

"Because I, uh, regret hitting him? I was trying to say I was sorry, I guess. I’m not usually very violent. But I’m not a wimp- he’s a demon! You don’t fuck with demons and get away with it scott free! It isn’t my fault! He’s got like… super demon powers n’ stuff.” You say grumpily. Your eyes look over her knife-wrench thing for a moment, before looking away. You decide you don’t really want to know why she’s twirling that thing around. You seem to have gotten caught up with some dangerous people as of recently- but you love them, so you’re just going to stay quiet. Plus, you don’t stand a chance with either of them if you get suspicious. Eeeek.

Source: augustbarkeeper

19th July 2012

Photo reblogged from I'll be the reckless one with 10 notes

Tagged: alcohol

19th July 2012

Photo reblogged from Rachel with 10 notes

Tagged: alcohol

19th July 2012

Photo reblogged from simplicitystreet with 14 notes

Tagged: alcohol

19th July 2012

Photo reblogged from Amyyy with 18 notes

Tagged: alcohol

19th July 2012

Post reblogged from Fuck It All An' Fuckin' No Regrets with 15 notes

anawkwardlyawkwardgiraffe:

augustbarkeeper:

>You think you’re enjoying beating eachother up a bit too much… You weren’t into that kind of stuff last time you checked! Well… it’s not sexual, right? Because you’re not fucking eachother while fighting, right? Or does it count if you get kinda just a little tiny bit turned on when beating the shit out of eachother? If so, then you’re fucked. Both of you… maybe? Is he feelin’ this too? He better be fuckin’ feelin’ this shit. He just might be, since he totally just shuddered like a sexy li- OH FUCK HE’S BITING YOU

FUCKIN LITTLE DEVIL IS BITING YOU WITH HIS SHARP-ASS FUCKING DEMON TEETH 

FUCK

THAT’S GOING TO LEAVE A GODDAMN FUCKING MARK

NONONONONOOO NO BITING BAD BAD DEMON

Him biting you seems to cause you to leap off of him, and start screaming like a lunatic. What a wimp. You only lasted this long because you hadn’t gotten hurt yet, probably. Ow, FUCK THIS FUCKING HURTS LIKE HELL, HE BETTER NOT BE POISONOUS.

You had been wandering around town, deciding to do your own bit of “research” you guess. Actually, you were having fun playing Batman. Who wouldn’t if they had a job like yours? You just couldn’t be bothered to wait for Pumpkin or an actual job. Vigilantism was just too much fun. 

Twirling your knife-wrench around like the pro you were, you nearly dropped it when you heard a scream. It sounded like a little girl getting attacked. You run towards the source of the sound, grateful your hearing was more sensitive than the average human. As you got closer, you realized it was coming from Augustus’s place. What the hell was going on?

You hurry to the door and kick it down, your weapon raised, only to find that it was your boyfriend screaming. And Pumpkin was laughing his ass off on the ground.

“What th’ fuck did I miss? An’ why is Augustus screamin’ like a baby?”

You weren’t paying much mind to your own screeching, because you’re were so fucking freaked out! You were yelling at the top of your lungs at the guy, and he’s laughing at you! HE’S FUCKING LAUGHING AT YOU AND NOT LISTENING TO A SINGLE GODDAMN WORD YOU’RE SAYING THAT LITTLE SHIT—

Oh fuck. Oh fuck is that Aggie? Oh shit did she hear you two? You just keep getting more and more humiliated today, but really you don’t pay too much mind, you’re far too into your rage. So you turn to her.

"You know what this freak did? Doya’ know? No? Then I’ll tell ya, this guy shows up, insults me without any explanation or reason, and leaps on my tryin’ to CLAW my fuckin’ FACE off! An’ I managed to get him offa me with a pretty awesome kick, and I thought I got the upper hand an I was gonna teach him I wasn’t gonna back off or some shit like a wimpy little girl, and hE BIT ME. THE TINY FUCKING EVIL PRICK BIT ME!!" You screeched, huffing and puffing, and completely ignoring the part about you screaming like a baby. 

Source: augustbarkeeper